Back and forth....

 ... sometimes i feel like in this story - about the IT guy who died under shower, becasue on the bottle of Shampoo there was a statement rinse and repeat... 

However strong i am trying to fight on the wrong "doings" - those are fighting back - and the fun fact is that i know this is not the correct approach/move it is still there and i am still doing those. How come? i have no idea... BUt is happens.... a lot.

Still i keep telling myself - that as long as i am aware - this is still a progress. Hope in couple of months it is going to be more than just awarness

Trying to break through the stagnation

 Every now and then we are in the situation when we just want & try to survive - the "bad time" - we see this keeps coming back - sometimes from work aspect of our life, sometimes from the private... family matters can sometimes hit us hard and strong.

what i want to do now, and need to do - is to focus on the task ahead - even despite the fact that i am tired and fed up with the tasks - and sometimes with the people - does not matter - i am just keep telling myself that this is what i need to do... i NEED TO DELIVER, I NEED TO FOCUS - ....

... after a while it will pass and i will be back on the right track. Just now i have enough... 

Step by Step - not rushing into ... anything

 Not that long ago - actually a month or so... i was under impression that we all are playing major roles in our movies... when you are thinking like that - you cannot get use to an idea - that you are just a very regular person. We cannot stand the idea that we are not the extraordinary, special people. We want to be the stars. 

We envy the other people that are being talked about by whole world - of course maybe not the villains, but the movie stars, rockstars (pop also), the enteprenours, the inventors, sportsman and woman... we cannot understand why we are just as regular as it could be...

It was (and sometimes still is) with me - i was looking for something more, my ordinary life was too boring for me - and if i was not in the middle of all the actions i was feeling that i am missing something, and i should rush more into everything. Only once i realize that this is not possible, and i would always be missing something - i am able now to breathe - and become more... rested, satisfied with what i am and who have i become... 

Of course sometimes still i feel like i am missing on things, but then i try to realize that this is also important and brave - to be ... noone ... noone special - or maybe we need to understand that we are special - but just for a few people in our life.... and even if for noone? then... whocares ;-)

Re-start

 Sometimes it is like it is - we need a special situation/hit/event - to think about the way we do operate. 

Sometimes it is not one single event - but a series of events/chances/situations. While observing my kids - especially my daughter - i see myself at primary/secondary school - and i would like to tell her  - what mistakes she is making, and how to avoid them - but it seems that we all need to make our own mistakes - and we cannot learn from mistakes of others - even the closest ones - or maybe we are not that close to our kids as we would expect or like to think. 

Horse and Headless Horseman...

Tale of Headless Horseman, can be read straight and plain, but not only...

...

On Sunny Saturday afternoon I went to try a little Horsesish.

It was just something I must do especially after receiving a photo of a ROSE in boots, which I was sure were Riding Shoes. I was proven wrong, but before that I did it.

I was ridding a horse, and I do not care that only on a leash. It was something special, and I think that my ancestors which must have been ridding horses on battlefields such as Poitiers, Hastings, Azzincourt, Grunwald, Tachovo, Kłuszyn, Chocim etc were at last running again in my vains.

I am not really sure if I will really be loving it but I need to try once again, and again and again... Till I will realize that I do not like it at all ;-).

But back to My Rose in Boots - it sounds like Puss'n'Boots... but really it is not so. It is not easy to say but I realize that Rose is someone to die for... but saddly Dying for someone is easier than leaving with.

Regrets...

... No Remorse, No regrets...

As was in a Metallica song, but is it possible.

Maybe - not for me. Right now I am just inside such a Regret-Bubble... Wishing that I was able to do something.

I once heard from someone (doesn't matter from whom): "It is better to do something and then regret that it was done, then to do nothing and regret not having done it"

But what about the cost? What about balance?

As far as it concerns only us it is simple, but if it concerns others... it is really simple also. Simple math, do the counting yourself, you will know.

Lie to me...

... it is always much simpler.

Just tell me a sweet little lie. Why show anyone that you are vulnarable.

You can pretend that it is not so. You can also pretend no to be where you were seen, or pretend that it is not your arm when caught steeling candies...

I don't care it is just you.... yourself and nothing else matters.